2020 has been a difficult year for everyone all around the world. Some have had it extremely bad, losing their lives or loved ones due to the virus. Others have just suffered under the administrative controls put in place by government officials, who still don’t seem to have a clear picture of the cause and effects of the disease, but who seem willing to implement draconian policies just to look like action is being taken. In my own state, they were among the first to implement lockdowns back in March, and have never really opened up at all, and yet still have among the highest infection rates in the country. Clearly, they don’t know what they’re doing and seem blind to the consequences of their policies. While some people are clearly particularly vulnerable to the effects of the virus, with a greater than 99% survival rate it is hard to understand the rationale for locking down people and businesses across the board. Hopefully, with the distribution of the vaccine 2021 will return some policies to a more rational basis, and hopefully, there is enough of the economy left to return to a thriving economy at some point. Sadly the state of public discourse, media, and politics has degenerated greatly in the last few years, culminating in the disastrous execution of this year’s elections. So I’m not particularly optimistic.
For myself, I have two distinct perspectives on this year. From one perspective, from the point of view of big activities, I have had a generally good year. I began the year on an international trip, having spent Christmas and New Year in Romania. I was home for a month and a half before I then went on two enjoyable photography trips, one to Hawaii and one to Mexico. The pandemic came to the forefront just as my trip to Mexico was ending and I felt like I squeaked back into the country just as there were rumors that the borders might be closing. I returned to a locked down state and basically didn’t go anywhere except for the grocery store for many months. I managed to travel out of state in June (despite the local controls in my area) and participated in one last photography tour. So despite all the lockdowns, I still managed to get in as many photo tours as I did in 2019. I even managed to squeeze in a few photoshoots at my house, although probably less than I would have had conditions been normal. The one thing that was very different was that my Shakespeare plays were all canceled, and I only got to see one ‘live’ production this year (King Lear online), which was a valiant effort under the circumstances.
This perspective would seem to indicate I pretty much got to do almost as much as I would have done in a normal year. From the 10,000 foot level that is true, but the alternative perspective is much less upbeat. Despite these few trips that got me out of the house, once the lockdowns came, while I was home, like so many others I was pretty much by myself stuck at home. I’ve always been fairly solitary, and comfortable that way, but this year I have literally gone weeks without interacting with another human being. Even going to the store, distancing from other customers, and using self check-out so as not to deal with a clerk, I hardly have any human contact. Being stuck at home is the experience of many people, but for those living alone, it’s very solitary, and it wears on you. The transition from working to retirement took some adjustment losing the daily interpersonal interaction, but it was mitigated by having activities where I left the house and had activities interacting with others. This year, when I wasn’t on one of my few trips, I was pretty much home alone the whole time … and this has been 9 months now. It definitely has a negative impact on my mental health and outlook. Sometimes my energy level seems to make it a major accomplishment just to get out of bed for the day. But not just to focus on the downside, I did have the opportunity and energy to go through my photos from over the last few years in more detail, and I even produced three photo books.
I am fortunate to say that I have had no virus-related health issues. But things have to change in 2021. I need to dig deep and find the self-discipline to have regular physical activity, to shake off the depression that sets in, and to try and recover some level of physical fitness. I feel like this year both my body and brain have turned to mush. I can only hope things open up in the year to come.